JUMP OFF THE F*CKING CLIFF

Hello Gorgeous Souls,

  I received a question on my Instagram stories yesterday saying something along the lines of "you seem so confident and brave. Do you ever feel scared to just leap?" and I really want to break this down because there is a massive misconception in the online space. The online space likes to make you believe that once you reach a certain income, when you conquer a fear once, that it magically fucking dissipates into the world never to be seen again and that is just utter bullshit. 

To be honest with y'all, I am always scared when it comes to trying new things in my personal life and my business. I remember when I was younger, I used to perform on stage in musicals. I remember the entire time before I would get on that stage, I would feel sick to my stomach. I would feel like I was going to throw up, shit myself, and wouldn't be able to eat or breathe for hours before. I would be absolutely terrified of forgetting my lines, missing a note, or singing off key or some fucking disaster. But the second I would get on stage, it would all disappear, the spot light would hit me, and it was like I got tunnel vision, and my entire body would calm, and I would become whoever I needed to be in that moment to be able to get my ass on that stage and shine. 

And the very next night when I would need to perform again, I would experience the exact same fears, anxiety, sickness, stress all over again. Just because I had done it the night before didn't mean I wasn't going to experience the overwhelming fear the next time I did it.  Every single night before I would perform, the fear would start to shine it's ugly head, and yet, I would still push through it, but that doesn't mean it got any easier. I would still rock me to my very core no matter how many performances I had been casted in over those 7 years. 

What we need to do is rather than fear the idea of being afraid, is recognize that it's fucking normal, that it's a part of the process, and that fear isn't a bad thing. That fear is showing us that we are stepping out of our comfort zone in that moment. That fear is showing us that we are stretching ourselves beyond our limits. That fear is a light that is shining on the path that we were meant to follow. 

But not everyone is brave enough to follow that path. There have been hundreds of times in my life where fear casted it's light down a dark alley and I ran the opposite direction, especially as I started to get older. The "what ifs" the uncertainty being too much to handle, being too overwhelming, all consuming. I have ran in the opposite direction so fast and you know what happened? I have regretted every single moment that I chose not to push through it. 

In 2018, I ran the opposite direction more times than I could count. After being in NWM all I wanted to do was step out and become a Coach. I wanted to step into the light, I wanted to own it, but I had no experience, and who the fuck was I to claim that I could help others when I felt like such a mess myself. So all year, every opportunity that came up to push through fear and step on the path I was meant to be on, I avoided it. I hid behind a computer, I created a brand that I knew deep down in my soul that I didn't want to launch. I created dessert recipe videos, built a website, created and launched a dessert course, all the while my soul was screaming "THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU WANT" but I was too afraid to challenge myself. I was too afraid to believe that I could commit, that I could actually become a Coach. I was too afraid to tell my Coach that I wanted to Coach. She would tell me my heart wasn't in it, and I would lie right to her face. Because lying and sitting in fear felt so much easier than pushing through it. 

And so I wasted a year of my life, sitting in fear, allowing it to dictate my every emotion, my every thought, my every action, and you know where I ended up at the end of 2018? Nofuckingwhere. All because fear was in the drivers seat and I was the willing passenger, driving around with it, refusing to take the wheel when it offered. I was a willing participate in my own demise that year all because of the what ifs and the uncertainty. 

What I needed to recognize in that moment, what you need to recognize right here, right now, if that fear is not a bad thing. It is not some monster hiding under your bed waiting to capture you and devour you. It is your soul's way of telling you that what you are doing is going to cause more growth than you could ever imagine. It's the Universe's way of telling you that you are doing everything right, that you are on the right path, that you were meant to be doing this, and yet you are ignoring her gift. Yes, a fucking gift, because that is what fear is, it's a gift from the Universe saying "push through this, and everything will change. Conquer this and you will have everything you desire, my dear." 

I am always scared. Every new direction, every leap, I am dying inside because I have no fucking idea whether I will fly or fall and end up bloody and broken, but that is the beauty in not knowing. It's the possibilities that can occur if you do fly. It's the limitlessness that awaits beyond the cliff. It's the hope, belief, desire, abundance that you have been craving for waiting just around the bend. There is so much potential in fear and by not exploring it, but not pushing through it, you are leaving so much on the table. You are allowing your hopes, dreams, desires, to flutter away from you. 

Fear is never going to disappear and you should be happy about that. Because the day you don't experience fear when stretching yourself beyond your limits is the day you recognize that you are not dreaming big enough. 

My 2022 plan for shifting the brand is fucking terrifying because I have never taken on something so massive in my life, but it's also so fucking exciting. The possibility of what we can create, the potential of impacting millions of lives, the belief that I can have everything I have ever dreamed of, is worth every second of feeling like my intestines are going to fall out of my ass. 

The confidence you see, is me trusting myself, trusting my team, and trusting the Universe. I am still scared every single day, but I know in my soul that if this wasn't the right move, the Universe wouldn't have handed me this download, she wouldn't have shinned her light down this path. There is a point where you have to surrender the fear, know that there is a higher being out there supporting you every move, and take the biggest fucking leap of you life. I have to trust, you have to trust, that your soul is telling you everything you need in life. You have to trust that YOU know the right move and what is best for you. You've gotta trust that you can handle the jump. 

Because what is more thrilling than leaping off a cliff? Feeling the cool wind softly blow across your face, feeling your wings expand further than you believe they could. Feeling the oxygen fill your lungs, the salt in the air tickle your nose, and seeing the beautiful world beneath you? All the while knowing, you are soaring in heights that other people dream of, that other people are scared of. 

Don't you deserve to experience your dreams at that level? I think you do. I think we all do. So you have to leap. You have to believe that you will fly, that you will thrive. 

Because you will

Because you are you 

Because you are magic 

So, my little birdy, get out of the cliff. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes, and fucking jump. 

And I will be there, meeting you in the sky <3

Love your freakin face,

Amanda