Abundant AF

Hey Gorgeous Souls,

There is something that I have been really trying to be intentional with lately that I want to share with you. I have been truly struggling with the idea of getting out of the $200k for my business lately. It's been three years and although I am grateful as fuck for the abundance I have received, I want more. And yet, I can't seem to get back the low $200,000 and I have been putting so much fucking pressure on myself to achieve busting through this that I am basically choking my fucking business to death. 

I was scrolling on Tik Tok the other day and heard an audio that went something along the lines of "the younger you wanted to be exactly where you are right now, remember that"  OYYYYYYYYY! What a kick in the dick that was, so painfully true that it hurt my soul. Ten years ago, fuck four years ago, I would have killed to be in the position I am today. 

I would have killed to be a CEO of a half a million dollar earning brand. I would have killed for the time, schedule, spacial freedom that I call my life and yet, here I am kicking myself in the ass for not producing more, for not achieving more, for not doing more, and it's starting to take it's toll on my soul. 

My business is everything to me and the last thing I ever want to do is kill it with my own bare hands, but that is exactly what I am doing. I have been feeling all of the old Corporate America feelings coming back up lately:

• The Sunday Scarys 
• Heaviness in my chest
• Anxiety over running a team
• Coming back from vacation and thinking "oh fuck I have work to do tomorrow" 
• Feeling so much pressure I feel like I can't breathe

And it scares the ever living shit out of me because my business is supposed to be everything not those things. It's supposed to bring me joy and abundance, not sending me running for the fucking hills. I don't want to stand in the way of my business's success and I am doing exactly that and I've gotta quit that shit ASAP. 

And so, I am really stepping into recognizing all of the abundance I have in my life, in all aspects of it. The abundance of having enough cash to fill my gas tank, the abundance of being able to order whatever my compulsive shopping ass wants to off of Amazon, the abundance of being able to walk away from my computer at 1pm and read Fairy Porn for the rest of the day. 

Each and every single one of us have so much abundance in our lives that we are taking granted of every single day yet we keep saying to the Universe "give me more! Give me more." Why would she grace us with more if we can't even recognize all that we currently have? Would be counterproductive would it not? 

I feel grateful for what I have, but I do forget about how much abundance my life has right now, and I need to value that more. Therefore, I am starting to get intentional as fuck with the abundance that surrounds me. Right now for example, I am in a beautiful cabin in the middle of fucking no where listening to Adam curse out his game as I write this. This trip was paid entirely by me. 4 years ago, I couldn't afford fucking shit and yet today I get to work all week from this amazing place. I get to wake up every morning and see these beautiful mountains. I get to stand on this porch, drinking my coffee, staring off into its beauty, feeling the cold air on my face. That is the most abundant fucking thing I could ask for. 

Every day I have been practicing being intentional with my abundance. I go to Starbucks and buy myself a coffee (without guilt or shame of spending money) I feel that abundance and say "I'm abundant as fuck." When I don't feel like working, so I decide to take the day baking cinnamon rolls for the hell of it "I'm abundant as fuck." Recording the videos I have been posting on IG stories lately "I'm abundant as fuck." Every time I pay with my credit card and get to use the tap function (it's so much fun to me) and know I will be able to pay that bill next month "I'm abundant as fuck." And I feel that shit in my crotch, y'all. I feel it deep in my soul and I remember the times where all this abundance didn't exist and it makes me appreciate it so much more. 

It doesn't matter what your income in or how much wealth you have, you are abundant as fuck. It's a magical season, let's tap into that magic to recognize how abundant each and every single one of us are. 

Follow along with me tomorrow on my Instagram Stories as I show you all the ways I feel abundant as fuck through out my day tomorrow. Join me in the day and practice it on your own. Tag me in your videos @fierceasfucktribe and show me how abundant as fuck you are! 

Love your freakin' faces,

Amanda